Sunday, June 24, 2012
The Power of Pain
You've heard it said, "Pain is weakness leaving the body." It's something I try to remind myself when I'm doing a workout or going through a rough spot. However, giving birth to our baby girl brought a whole new meaning to that four letter word.
Luckily, I had a doctor appointment that morning (on her due date) and found out that I had dilated to 3 centimeters when I went in for my weekly check up. I was so excited! The doctor said that it was time to admit me into the hospital. However, I had heard that you can't eat or drink anything once admitted, and that didn't sound too fun, so I asked if I could just come back once the contractions were closer. He agreed. I called my friend DeNise and we decided to go have lunch at the mall and walk around in hopes of getting the contractions closer together. Afterwards, I came home and took a nap, and the contractions seemed to get further apart. I was determined, so I took Callie for a walk at the park. (I decided to drive the car just in case my water broke;-) My other dog park friends thought I was crazy and that I should be at home with my feet up. But I thought, "Well that won't make them come any sooner!" I came back home and they still had not gotten closer than 10 minutes. It was now 8:30 at night and I was beginning to think that nothing would happen. I called my friend Abby on the telephone and she reminded me to try to relax through the pain and to not clench my fist or curl my toes when the contractions came. When I hung up with her, I tried doing just that and allowed the pain to come instead of fight against it. One hour later my contractions went from 10 minutes apart to 5 minutes. (Praise the Lord!)
We made our way to the hospital and checked in at 11 p.m. I had dilated almost 5 centimeters and was taken to the delivery room. I continued to practice breathing and tried really hard to not clench my fists. It went against everything my mind wanted to do. It hurt and I wanted to squeeze something, but I knew that with the pain I was getting closer to holding my baby girl. By 1 a.m. I was dilated at an 8.5 and when the doctor arrived at 2 a.m. I was at a 10 and ready to push! It all went by so fast.
I wanted to have a natural delivery so that I could experience all that God had designed it to be. I knew that He would help me through it and that He was right there with me. It truly was the most amazing experience and I'm so grateful to God, my husband, and the team of doctors who made it possible.
It wasn't until I was feeding her one night when I was reminded how God uses pain in our lives. I think most of the time, our natural reflexes are to clench our fists, grit our teeth, and fight against the pain. Who likes to be in pain after all? What I realized is that pain is a good thing. It doesn't feel good at the time, but God can use it to bring about something beautiful in our life if we allow Him to. It's normal to want to cry and scream and try everything in order to get out of the painful situation. Yet, I learned that God is just waiting for us to stop kicking and screaming so that He can refine us. God can use pain for our good, to accomplish the purposes He has for us.
The past 3 weeks have flown by. We are both learning so much and are so grateful for this sweet little miracle that God has blessed us with. Sometimes, when I am walking down the street pushing her stroller or rocking her in my arms, I still can not believe that I am a mom. It makes me think so much of my own mom as I sing the songs that she used to sing to me:-)