Braggin' on God

About a week ago I sat down to write out some thank you cards.  As I thanked people for their continued support, for the ones who surprised us with a financial gift in December, and for those who blessed us by blessing our baby... I was just overwhelmed with gratitude!

I could have cried with every note I wrote, and no it's not just the hormones! ;-)  That week we also received a bassinet on loan from other missionaries here in Quito.  I received a thank you letter from a former student, and our landlords brought us homemade figs and fresh cheese!  I thought, "Lord, if you bless me anymore I'm just going to burst!" 

I walked down the street and felt the gentle breeze against my cheeks and began to sing songs of thanksgiving to Him who gives us all things.  Not just the material/financial things, but the little gifts that He has for us each and every day.  The sound of the birds chirping outside my window, the smell of the eucalyptus trees in the park, how my dog gently tries to sneak into our bed at 5 a.m. so she can snuggle with us a few minutes.  They all make me smile because they are just small gifts from Him letting me know how much He loves me.

It's pretty amazing.  I know I should write them all down.  I know I won't always have this "about to burst feeling" because there are always trials just right around the corner.  But it's during those times that I can look back and be grateful.  I don't have to set my eyes on my circumstances, I don't have to be angry.  I can choose to break those destructive patterns, I can choose to be grateful for His unconditional love.  I can even choose to be grateful for the trial set before me!

"The Future is a Phantom, Seeking to Spook You"

Do you ever think too much or worry about the future?  I know I have.  It's a daily battle to not go there.  As I read a devotional this morning, I was reminded of how I should laugh at the future instead of worry about it.

Several years ago, Larry and I were accepted to HCJB Global.  We were scared to start the process or rather, to start raising support.  We tried for a year and a half doing it our way wondering if we would ever get there.  Our fear of asking people to support us was greater at that time than our faith in the God that gives all things.  It wasn't until we stepped out of the boat, putting ALL of our trust in Him, that we began to see Him work it all out.  It's funny because I remember thinking, "Wow!  We were scared for nothing!  God is doing it all, it was actually easy doing it His way."

You see, when we decided to NOT be afraid and TRUST in the Lord, we actually had people asking how they could support us.  When we spoke with friends about what we were doing, they asked us how they could be apart of it!  I just had to laugh!  All that time spent being afraid of the rejection, of what others 'may think', and it was all for nothing.

The Lord says, "No weapon formed against me will prosper."  At first those waves of fear seemed treacherous.  Yet when we learn to fix our eyes on Him, the One who never changes, by the time those waves reach us they will have shrunk.

So today, I make a conscious decision to laugh about the unknown.  I pray that you will do the same and not remain stuck in the "phantom" of what truly does not exist.

Empty Me of "Me" So I Can Be Filled with More of YOU!

 About a month ago, I began to wonder... Lord is there any hope for me?!  Or am I just going to repeat this sin over and over again?  No matter how much I tried, or how much I prayed, I kept doing what I didn't want to do.  I wanted to be a better wife, but I just felt stuck and it was not a good feeling.  I remember asking the Lord and my husband, "Is this one of those sins that will follow until the 3rd or 4th generation?"  Is there any hope, because I sure am trying... and I keep doing the same thing!

Branch that is not connected is "dead."

Branch that is connected bears good fruit.

I went on a Women's Retreat about 2 weeks ago.  It was refreshing and enlightening.  Sometimes, you "know" it in your head, it just hasn't made it to your heart yet.  I know God loves me.  I know that Christianity is not a "salvation by works" religion.  Yet, ironically, that is exactly what I was trying to do!  I was trying to fix my wrong behavior (over-reacting, and getting defensive) on my own strength, and was becoming frustrated because I wasn't getting anywhere.  Our facilitator at the retreat said something that stuck, "It isn't your job to fix it.  It's God's."  Then last weekend at church the Pastor reminded us that a branch which is not connected to the vine is "dead."  That we can't do anything if we are not connected to the vine.  What a relief to know in my heart that my job is not to fix anything, my job is simply to remain connected to the vine-Jesus!

Here is something I read in my devotional this morning called, "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young:

Walk peacefully with Me through this day.  You are wondering how you will cope with all that is expected of you.  You must traverse this day like any other: one step at a time.  Instead of mentally rehearsing how you will do this or that, keep your mind on My Presence and on taking the next step.  The more demanding your day, the more help you can expect from Me.  This is a training opportunity, since I designed you for deep dependence on your Shepherd-King.  Challenging times wake you up and amplify your awareness of needing My help.
  When you don't know what to do, wait while I open the way before you.  Trust that I know what I'm doing, and be ready to follow My lead.  I will give strength to you, and I will bless you with Peace.