As a summer missionary in Del Rio, Texas I had a thought, "What if I could trust in God, the way a little girl trusts in her Dad?" I had the image of a Daddy and a little girl. He would scoop her up under her arms, hug and kiss her, and then toss her in the air. The little girl would have no fear, because she knew that her Daddy would catch her. She would fall gently in his arms laughing and ask him to do it again, and again, and again.
I wanted to be like that little girl who had no fear; just a childlike trust in God. As the summer came to a close, and as I wrestled with the Lord about issues that had always scared me, I had a different picture in my mind. I told my roommate Lauren one night, "You know, it's weird. All summer, I've been wanting to trust God with my future." I then told her about the little girl and her Daddy, and how I had wanted to be like her. "But now, I have a different picture in my mind." It was no longer a little girl being tossed in the air, it was me as a young woman walking alongside Jesus. He held on to my hand, and as we walked I would just look up and gaze at him. I didn't understand where it was coming from. I mean, I wanted to be like that little girl, I wanted to trust Jesus and not myself! That's when Lauren said, "It sounds like peace."
She was right. God was teaching me that when I do trust him with a childlike trust a by-product of that is a deep peace. The other night, as I was preparing supper, I heard a song come on called 'Come to Me'. I stopped what I was doing and allowed myself to be wrapped up in the moment, and I went to Him. As I swayed to the music, holding this little baby growing inside of me, the Lord blessed me with His presence. It was me, dancing on the feet of Jesus. He was holding the two of us and He was smiling down on us. I had to just close my eyes to take it all in. I could feel his presence around me, and the only words I can find to describe that precious moment is... pure JOY!
I realized that it has all been a journey; a journey of fear and then trust; of worry and then peace. And how important it was that I go through all those trials, so I could experience a few moments of complete joy. In the movie "Steel Magnolias", Julia Roberts, who plays Shelby, says "I'd rather experience a few moments of wonderful, than a life time of nothingness." God is still working on me. He hasn't given up on me, and He sure hasn't given up on you! I'm praying for you as well, that you experience the joy of simply being in His presence.