I was reading a bible study recently and it got me thinking about how I got to this place in my life and giving in to God. I say giving in to God because at first I didn't want to go out of the country on missions. God set me on this path before I even knew it. It started with my interest in radio and then progressed to Christian radio when my walk with God grew. Then in college it was a call to missions. But I didn't want to go. I wanted things to happen my way. I wanted to work at a Christian radio station in Texas. I got frustrated and started to complain and get angry with God when things weren't working out my way.
The bible study talks about how Jeremiah was beaten after prophesying. He then prays to God letting out his honest feelings. The bible study asks "Do you need to write a prayer to God about your honest feelings? Remember, Jeremiah did not complain simply because times were tough. What happened resulted from his obedience. If you choose to complain, make sure you are justified in doing so like Jeremiah. Otherwise, pray to obey God first."
That reminded me of when I realized I wasn't obeying God, but complaining because things weren't happening the way I wanted. I felt God say "do you want to work in Christian radio for YOU or for ME. At that moment I realized I needed to serve God and not be concerned with my wants. That night Amanda and I prayed about joining HCJB Global and we decided we would walk down this path until God closed the door. So far the doors have been open.